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A Wizard Did It
}} Vaarsuvius wishes to display the power of the soul splice to the rest of the party and effortlessly gives the Azurites a new home. Kazumi makes determining Haley's locations unnecessary. Cast * Vaarsuvius (Soul Spliced) ◀ ▶ * Daigo Da- ◀ ▶ * Kazumi Kato (pregnant) ◀ ▶ * Ganonron ◀ ▶ * Jephton the Unholy ◀ ▶ Transcript The Azurite fleet rests off the coast of another small island in the Ocean. Daigo: Honey! I'm home! In Daigo and Kazumi's cabin. Kazumi: Hey there, brave explorer. How goes the brave exploring today? Daigo: Eh, pretty crappy. I mean, the island wasn't full of rampaging orcs or anything. Daigo: That sort of thing only seemed to happen when Elan was with us. Daigo: But it was pretty tiny. We definitely couldn't settle all of the refugees on— Vaarsuvius teleports in, "POP!" Kazumi: Holy $#!&! Daigo: GAH!! Spliced souls: We arrive. Spliced souls: We are here. Vaarsuvius: Where is Durkon? His cabin is empty. Daigo: Vaarsuvius? Is that you?? Vaarsuvius: Of course. Why does everyone keep asking that? Daigo: Uh, well, you changed your hair. And your teeth. Kazumi: And your speech balloons. Vaarsuvius: Bah! Physical appearances matter little to me. Now answer the question: Where is Durkon? And the bard, for that matter? Spliced soul: Don't worry about it. Spliced soul: We think you look good in black. Kazumi: They're not here. Daigo: We were just discussing our search for a place to settle while we— Vaarsuvius: No! No, I shall not tolerate one more insipid conversation about your petty tactical necessities. Spliced soul: Silence the banality! Spliced soul: Stop the madness! Vaarsuvius: This ends now. Daigo: No! Stay back! Jephton: Do it. Ganonron: I have just the spell. Ganonron's soul becomes distinct behind Vaarsuvius. Vaarsuvius: Epic Teleport! Ganonron: Epic Teleport! The entire fleet disappears from the sea near the small island, "pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop!" The fleet appears off the coast of a land with a wooded mountain and a white castle, "pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop! pop!" Daigo: What the hell? Did you just move the entire fleet? Where are we? Vaarsuvius: At a large island a few dozen kilometers from the Western Continent. Back in Kazumi and Daigo's cabin. Vaarsuvius: You will find an abundance of edible vegetation and several unoccupied fortifications. Vaarsuvius: This was the site of an elven settlement for many centuries before budget cuts forced my people to withdraw from it. Vaarsuvius: My parents took me camping here once. I loathed it. Vaarsuvius: I imagine that a few monsters have moved in by now, but nothing a few low-level peons such as yourself could not handle. Daigo: Vaarsuvius, I don't—I don't know what to say! Vaarsuvius: Then say nothing, simpleton! Vaarsuvius: I only brought you here so that you would have no possible reason to speak of this subject near me EVER AGAIN!! Spliced soul: Zip it! Spliced soul: Speak, and be silenced. Vaarsuvius: Now, if Durkon and Elan are not here, then tell me where they are. Kazumi: We don't know, exactly. Daigo: We haven't seen them in days. Vaarsuvius: I had hoped they would bear witness to the final triumph of arcane power over our long-standing conundrum, as they had so often scoffed. Vaarsuvius: But I can wait no longer. Spliced soul: So much to kill. Spliced soul: So little time. Vaarsuvius: The time has at last come to peel back the shroud that has obscured my mystic vision for so long. Spliced soul: Take what you need. Vaarsuvius: With the unrivaled power that I now possess, no secret shall remain hidden! Vaarsuvius: For now, it is MY hand that will shatter the barrier that has prevented me from locating Haley Starshine, for I shall wrest the knowledge from the— Kazumi: She's in Greysky City. Vaarsuvius: What. Vaarsuvius: Did you. Vaarsuvius: Say? Kazumi: She called Durkon with a Sending spell, like days ago. Daigo: That's why they left the fleet. Daigo: He got a second Sending right before he left, saying that she was staying at the Thieves' Guild. Kazumi: Ooo! I wrote down the address! Kazumi: Here we go: 247 Back Alley Road, third floor, second door on the— Vaarsuvius: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!!! Spliced souls: KILL! KILL! D&D Context * Epic Teleport is an Epic Spell, one that can only be cast by a character level 21+. The other epic-level spells used in the comics are Cloister, and Familicide. Trivia * "A Wizard Did It", says tvtropes, is the standard all-encompassing explanation for any continuity errors noticed by hardcore fans of any given fantasy show. External Links * 643}} View the comic * 108553}} View the discussion thread Category:Uses Epic Teleport Category:Vaarsuvius During the Soul Splice